Prayerwindows.com
How I Pray And Paint

Religious images can generate spiritual values that prompt disciples of Jesus Christ to serve others. Artists actualize the Word of God through creating images that evoke a response in the viewers of their art. This has been my experience.

Through my own painting process I have learned to communicate with God in the language of silence, engaging the physical material and affective response of my heart and mind. When I have used my paintings to articulate how I experience God, I have sparked spiritual conversations in different settings, both at home and in ministry. The project is significant because it shows a way for people to express their experience of God through creativity, which can inspire faith.

The product itself is not as important as the process the artist undergoes to encounter God. The painting helps guide one through the experience without totally explaining the experience. This artistic process is not as concerned with the details of the product, but with the beauty of the source that reveals an image of love in creation. Art is a language that can communicate the mystery of God.

Approaching a blank canvas is like looking at the empty screen of the word processor: the emptiness intimidates me. However, simply placing a mark on the page gives me courage to proceed. In painting, I initially put many marks on the page. I often just cover the page in color. This is the under painting that will provide a tone for the finished piece. Most of the paintings in the case study are lighter in tone due to yellow and orange under painting.

As I proceed, using oil-based "paintsticks" that dry more quickly than ordinary oils, I smear and blend darker hues across the canvas with a palette knife. This builds up a texture that is easier to manipulate for details with an instrument like a razor blade. As the paint dries I look at the canvas. Similar to an ink-blot projection test, I spend time in silence and wait, then I see specific shapes appear. They may be just geometric shapes or even bodies and faces. As the paint begins to harden I use the sharp utensils to define the images in greater detail. Whatever I am praying with at this time will influence the forms I see. As an example, I will describe in detail how one of the paintings took shape.

Originally, the piece, "Place Me with Your Son" had a portrait of Ignatius of Loyola in the upper left corner above the portrait of Pedro Arrupe. Ignatius is the founder of the Jesuits and Arrupe was the major superior of this religious order after Vatican II. The final image includes a portrait of Pedro Arrupe praying at the cross of the crucified Christ. The following describes the evolution of the image. One night I had a dream that showed the face of Ignatius covered in red. The next day I painted over that face in red, then turned the canvas to the wall. A few months later, while I was participating in the "19th Annotation" version of the Spiritual Exercises I returned to this picture.

During the second phase of the Exercises, St. Ignatius sometimes recommended that retreatants read the lives of saints and holy people as material for contemplation. I began to read more about Arrupe at this time. I also was praying to know and love Jesus more, which is the desire one prays for at this time of the retreat. As I looked at the painting I was moved to scrape out the red that had covered the face of Ignatius. This process occurred in the span of two days. On the first day I finished the portrait of Arrupe. On the second day I prayed that he might inspire some image that would emerge from the empty space that had been the torso of Ignatius.

As the day progressed I felt emptied by an inability to fashion an image. At one point I sat down, feeling incapable of accomplishing any more. I began to notice the silence in the room, that I was simply present to the quiet. I remembered Arrupe's physical condition in the last years of his life after he suffered a stroke. I felt moved by the thought that he could not be other than he was, especially in his weakness. He was fulfilling God's will by living the life he was encountering at each moment, in his present condition. As Arrupe himself wrote, "And now more than ever I find myself in the hands of this God who has taken hold of me." This is the humble acceptance of one's fate, best illustrated at Gethsemane by Jesus' obedience to do the will of God.

In that moment, I was aware of surrendering my need to create. I felt the freedom to be alone with God. In that solitude I imagined Jesus bending close to my ear and whispering, "you are not alone." I moved back to the canvas, not knowing what I would paint. As I moved the fresh paint across the scarred surface of what was Ignatius' portrait, the image of Christ crucified became clearer. My response was an awareness of accepting God's call to be in company with Jesus. Christian artists fulfill the ministry of the Word with the language of imagination that evokes heartfelt responses to promote Gospel values.

This is a detailed account of how I paint and pray. I do not paint everyday nor am I this engaged each time I do art. Sometimes, it will be just a simple sketch with markers or a word scrawled on paper. Whatever form it takes, I am aware that the initiative comes from God and desires that will deepen our relationship. This way to encounter the Holy was discovered only through years of growth the in areas of spiritual, emotional and physical health. Experience taught me to listen before acting. The willingness to cooperate with God in this venture is a source of joy and beauty. With trust and humility I am a co-creator with God whose life is transformed by the freedom to participate in God's ongoing creation.
The Annuncitation